MATT AND MIKE LOVE BASEBALL!!

doogiehowsermd: I think Mike loves baseball more than...

Fri, 08 Oct 2010 12:23:25 -0400

I think Mike loves baseball more than anybody.

Baseball.
Baseball.
You should be a human.

Baseball.
Baseball.
You would look a lot like Mike.

worldwarmike: The Giants win the division! I’m celebrating with...

Mon, 04 Oct 2010 12:42:17 -0400

worldwarmike:

The Giants win the division! I’m celebrating with a cold pepsi and Beary Zito! Agh!!!!!!

GO GIANTS! GO MIKE! GO BEARS NAMED AFTER BASEBALL PLAYERS! GO SMILES!

worldwarmike: Baseball: Day 4! Check out these seats! Whoa!...

Fri, 24 Sep 2010 16:56:03 -0400

worldwarmike:

Baseball: Day 4! Check out these seats!

Whoa! Mike is caught in a net! Don’t move, Mike. I’ll cut you out with my handy Hot Pocket knife!

This is hot dogs 4 - 9.

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 21:26:44 -0400

This is hot dogs 4 - 9.

Hot dog #3 from the hand of Henry. Baseball!

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 20:06:39 -0400

Hot dog #3 from the hand of Henry. Baseball!

Giants are winning. Mike’s hyped.

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 19:39:38 -0400

Giants are winning. Mike’s hyped.

Great Baseball Names That Were Never Famous

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 10:42:29 -0400

- Ezekiel Snapperdoodle!

- Peanutbutter Dogwash!

- Stanton Hedge!

- Ramirez Ramirez!

- Charleston Peabody!

- Casey Dilla!

- Wilson “Hardship” Barleycorn!

- Shortstack Ticklebottom!

- Hunter Cane!

- Abacus Rombus!

- Hatless Tubashoes!

- Juan!

- Birmingham Castoroil!

- Aubrella Hufflepuff!

- Merlin Beard!

- Taiwan Stormpickle!

- Matt Mike!

retrobaseball: Excellent Baseball Nicknames #1: Dennis “Oil...

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 23:47:48 -0400

retrobaseball:

Excellent Baseball Nicknames #1:

Dennis “Oil Can” Boyd

“That’s what they get for building a park on the ocean.” —Boyd, after a 1986 Red Sox-Indians game at Cleveland Municipal Stadium (on the shore of Lake Erie) was postponed due to fog.

Photo: AP

GPOYW - 2 Non Blondes

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 21:55:04 -0400

GPOYW - 2 Non Blondes

"Randy Wells is pitching? Isn’t he the lovechild of Randy Johnson and a water well?"

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 21:30:48 -0400

“Randy Wells is pitching? Isn’t he the lovechild of Randy Johnson and a water well?”

- Mike

"Pablo Sandoval plays the hot corner? More like hotdog corner."

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 21:28:27 -0400

“Pablo Sandoval plays the hot corner? More like hotdog corner.”

- Matt

"I bet Pablo Sandoval’s bat is made of hamburgers."

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 21:15:30 -0400

“I bet Pablo Sandoval’s bat is made of hamburgers.”

- Matt (from Matt and Mike loves baseball)

What's Your Hype Song?!

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 20:53:00 -0400

Every great baseball player has a hype song. A song that, while they stroll from the on deck circle to the batter’s box, hypes testosterone and pumps the fans?

Mike’s hype song is Daisy Dukes by 69 Boyz.

Matt’s hype song is anything by the 4 Non Blondes.

WHAT’S YOUR HYPE SONG?!

worldwarmike: The Giants are losing.

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 20:50:59 -0400

worldwarmike:

The Giants are losing.

Traded in our smirnoff lemonades for a bag of lemonheads!...

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 19:48:31 -0400

Traded in our smirnoff lemonades for a bag of lemonheads! Baseball!

Little Man, Gigantic Exaggeration Of His Abilities

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 18:01:40 -0400

Little Man, Gigantic Exaggeration Of His Abilities:

trawlingthegrey:

My favorite sports blog of all-time, FJM, has taken over the posting duties at Deadspin today. Every post has been chock full of the incredibly witty, stat-based dissection of horrible sports journalism that made me obsess over FJM in the first place. (Unfortunately, the FJM boys quit on us almost two years ago because they had to focus on their jobs as TV writers. Woe is us.)

It’s a shame we only get to read this stuff once a year. I miss the hell out of that blog.

An excerpt from my favorite post of the day, by Ken Tremendous (AKA Michael Schur, AKA Mose Schrute from The Office.)

He plays second base by positioning and studying opposing hitters and somehow gets to the right place at the right time.

A fact that is unique to David Eckstein. Robinson Cano plays second base by running in circles, closing his eyes, and trying to feel the ball off the bat. Omar Infante plays second base by attempting to divine, through augury and calf-entrail-spilling, who will hit the ball to him and when. Ian Kinsler plays second base by putting in a little earpiece and having someone whisper to him what to do, like Brando used to do when he no longer bothered to learn his lines. Clint Barmes plays second base like a guitar, picking the entire second base area up and strumming it lightly, occasionally taking requests from the crowd. (You should hear Clint Barmes play “April Come She Will” on the acoustic second-base-area. It’ll bring a tear to your eye.) (That might be the weirdest sentence I’ve ever written. Fuck it. I’m leaving it in. It’s 12:25 a.m.)

Listen: those things that you just said Eckstein does? Everyone does them. Every second baseman does them. Short ones, tall ones, good ones, bad ones. They all do it. They all position themselves and study opposing hitters and try to get to the right place at the right time. Because they are professional baseball players. Why does David Eckstein get credit for things everyone does? Major League Baseball ability is not graded on a shortness curve.

GO GIANTS!

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 17:55:18 -0400

GO GIANTS!

Highlights from last night:

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:32:10 -0400

- Bought Matt a Jeff Smardzija t-shirt.

- Got caught in a rain delay, but it wasn’t bad because we brought 3 umbrellas.

- Drank two smirnoff lemonades apiece.

- Came up with a couple top secret inventions involving nachos and ponchos.

- Sat next to the worst heckler of all-time. We named him Stat Tracker. He had a stutter.

- Got Marlon Byrd’s attention by calling him Merlin Beard.

- Made tons of bad puns.

- Some underage Cub fans tried to get us to buy them beer. They asked for anything but smirnoff ice. We refused them.

- Mike punched Matt in the chest.

- Buster Posey hit a homerun!

- Mike was happy because the Giants won 1-0.

We can’t wait for game 2 tonight! :)

Baseball: Another, Another Poem

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 11:41:13 -0400

Baseball.
Baseball.
You could’ve been any kind of ball.

Baseball.
Baseball.
But you chose base.

-Matt

RAIN DELAY: A POEM

Tue, 21 Sep 2010 20:11:54 -0400

Matt and Mike, Mike and Matt. wearing pink hats, swingin’ bats.

Mike and Matt, Matt and Mike. LIGHTNING STRIKE! (three and you’re out.)

There’s a fly in my drink. There’s a fly in my drink. There’s a fly in my drink.